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Posted By Topic: Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse and Advice on how to cope with it

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27-08-2003 @ 12:58 AM    Notify Admin about this post
Posts: 140
Joined: Sep 2002

As Salaam 'Alaykum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakatuh, This message was received from a sister (who shall remain anonymous) regarding information related to the rulings on sexual abuse/child abuse and advice on how to cope with such trauma. Perhaps one of the noble salafee students can address the query to the 'Ulamaa.

----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, August 25, 2003 3:43 PM
Subject: Fwd: Re: Asalamu Alikum

Asalamu Alikum,

I have a concern which I want to share with troid. Why don't the imams give lectures on rape and sexual abuse and how islam deals with this issue in detail? I never heard a lecture that tells how the victim should deal with the situation. Muslims keep hiding these issues. No one talks about it. That's why it keeps happening. I'm a victim of sexual abuse. I was abused when I was a child about 6 years of age by my neighbor, my older cousin, a stranger, uncle, and another uncle when I was 11years old. I told my parents when I was 6 years about what happening to me, but they didn't understand what I was saying. When I was 11 I told my mother nothing happened! Now I'm 19 years of age. I have opened up about my abuse. I told my parents, and relatives. My parents are very supportive now. I don't see my cousin and uncles anymore. I'm going to counseling. But, I think it's not working. I'm still stressed. I used to think it was my fault and I used to cry and ask Allah's forgiveness. I want to do something I want to do something to stop this garbage. I think the imaams should talk about these issues. Educate the muslims on this. Jazak Allahu Khair.

Sister in Islam

"" <> wrote: Wa 'alaykumus Salaam Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakatuh,

Jazaakum Allaahu Khair for your email.

We are saddened to know that our sister has endured such suffering and oppression and we hope that Allaah, the all-mighty expiates your sins for the ordeals you have endured, and we hope that Allaah, the sublime gives you a safe and happy future, ameen.

Although one may not find a great deal of books or tapes/cds on the specific topic, the issue of sexual abuse and rape has been discussed by the 'Ulamaa from the Salaf (past) to the Khalaf (those who came after). There is clear shar'eaah legislation from Allaah and his Messenger (Sallaallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) on the affairs of rape and abuse with sometimes, specific punishments. I looked around some of the reliable sites and found one ruling by Shaykh Wasee Allaah Abbaas al-Hindee from Makkah. in regards to a Women who found her husband admit to abusing a 10yr old (in the west). However, I didn't find any other topics related to abuse. If you don't mind, I would like to post your email (anonymous name and email) on to request further study immediately from the students of knowledge.

The problems you have mentioned are real and exist amongst the Muslim societies and are from the greatest of oppression upon the helpless ones (children). Remain reliant upon Allaah, the all-Mighty, stick to learning your deen and increasing your eemaan, seek all the good avenues of a successful life, good companions, sittings of knowledge, memorising and reading the Qur'aan, going to classes online  etc. Fill your time with obedience to Allaah and Allaah will fill your heart with happiness and this is true success.

Awaiting your permission...

Barakallaahu Feekum,

----- Original Message -----
Subject: Fwd: Re: Asalamu Alikum

Asalamu Alikum Wa Rahmutallaha Wa Barakatuhu,

Yes  you can post my concern. I think the problem is that the muslim community is too ignorant. They don?t know how to deal with the issues like rape or sexual abuse. My parents didn?t know how to deal with my problem. I think they were too scared about what the society will think. Maybe they ignored the problem thinking it will go away by itself. They didn?t take any action. No one takes any action!

This problem brings out so many questions like how do we protect our kids from sexual abuse, can we teach our kids about sexuality-if yes, how do we go about doing that, how close do we let our kids be with relatives and strangers- what?s the limit because we can?t trust neither the strangers nor the relatives.  

Just answering one question will not solve the problem. We need to talk about this issue in detail. we need to educate people everywhere about this. in islam from what i believe it is not rite just to hide this we should be more up front about it because its nothin to be embarrased or ashamed about. if we do not take action more young kids will be suffering other than the horrible torture that i went through. please do something to spread im writing to many websites so please help me out in this. Jazak Allahu Khair

Sister in Islam

25-10-2003 @ 7:59 PM    Notify Admin about this post
Posts: 25
Joined: Apr 2003
As-salaamu alaikum

I just wanted to bump this up.  If anyone has info from the scholars or students of knowledge about this very important and realistic topic, that is effecting so many of the muslim youth (and in turn the entire ummah), PLEASE take the time to post it here.  Barakallaahu feek was-salawaatu was-salaamu 'alaa Muhammadin wa 'alaa aalihe wa as-haabihe ajma'een.

Umm Aasiyah

23-06-2005 @ 10:02 AM    Notify Admin about this post
Posts: 170
Joined: Mar 2005

28-09-2009 @ 7:47 PM    Notify Admin about this post
Posts: 8
Joined: Aug 2009
Bismillaah al hamdulillaah was salaatu was-salaatu alaa rasulullaah

As-salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh

May Allaah reward you for the hardship you have gone through, grant you ease after your difficulty, patience and glad tidings for you in this life and the hereafter.

I just like to remind ourselves of these ahadeeth

It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say:

(O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from distress, grief, incapacity, laziness, miserliness, cowardice, the burden of debt and from being overpowered by men).
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6008.

Ibn Hajar said:

The interpretation of these things is: distress means bad things that the mind imagines are happening at present; grief for what has happened in the past; incapacity is the opposite of ability; laziness is the opposite of being energetic; miserliness is the opposite of generosity; cowardice is the opposite of courage.
Fath al-Baari.

It was narrated that Abd-Allaah ibn Masood said:

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says:

(O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Quraan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety),

but Allaah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with joy. He was asked: O Messenger of Allaah, should we learn this? He said: Of course; everyone who hears it should learn it.

Narrated by Ahmad, 3704; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 199.

We seek Allaah's reward by yielding obedient to Him, guarding the prayer etc and holding on to the Sunnah of His Blessed Messenger{SallAllaahu alayhi was-sallam} so that Allaah may love us and forgive us our sins.

Subhakallahumma wabihamdik, ash-hadu an la ilaaha illa ant, astagfiruka wa atoobu ilaayk

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