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Posted By Topic: What Should This Brother Do?

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24-04-2003 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
Posts: 40
Joined: Sep 2002
Alhumdulillah, as Salaatu was Salaamu 'ala Rasoolillaah.

Salaam 'alaykum wa Rahmatullaah,

A brother has asked me to seek an answer to his particular situation on his behalf. Could one of the talibul ilm or one of the du'aat please take this question and present it to one of our ulema on his behalf inshaa'Allaah.

The brother came to America from Niger and ended up marrying an American Muslimah soon afterwards. They had both the sharee marriage and also the marriage recognized by the law of the land here. Soon after their marriage they began having marital problems. But the brother has always been patient with the woman, but she causes him problems in all sorts of ways. The woman has an evil way about her (I have witnessed this myself because we were neighbors.) They have a child together and the brother wants to take custody of his son.

The man has divorced this lady (the third divorce) but their marriage is still recognized by the law of the land. They have been seperated for about six months. (In this land a seperation is when a man is still legally married to his wife but they no longer live together.) The woman is extremly upset with the man and told him atleast once that she is going to raise his son as a kaafir. And sometimes she says she is Muslim and sometimes she says she is not, and so sometimes she will cover and sometimes she will not. (What we have witnessed is that she may have be a little crazy, wallaahu alim.)

According to the law of the land here, the man is responsible for this woman even though they are seperated and until they have a divorce here and she remarries since she has never worked during the marriage. But the woman tries to get him in trouble with the authorities and tells them that he is not taking care of her or his child, but Alhumdulillaah he has receipts of what we spends on them.

The man wants the custody of his child and he wants nothing else to do with this woman, but it is very difficult for a man in this country to get custody of his child, and even more so since he is a foreigner.

The woman has stolen from him a check for $690.00 and she has lied to the authorities here to obtain things from them that she has no right to, and the man advised her not to do these things but she did it anyway. The man wants to know if it is permissible for him to turn this woman into the authorities and whether he should take her to the courts to get his rights back eventhough this could mean that she could be imprisoned by the kuffaar, wallaahu alim. And he asks this because it could mean that it would be easier for him to obtain custody of his child since it would make her be seen as an unfit mother, wallaahu alim.

If it's not permissible for him to get her in trouble with the authorities like this is it permissible for him to sue her in the courts for the money that was stolen?

What measures should he go to to obtain the custody of his son? If he can not take legal custody of his son by way of the laws of the land should he just take his son anyway back to his home country eventhough he could get in trouble with these kuffaar and they could lock him up?

What is the mans responsibility in providing for the divorced woman?

Is it permissible for him to put up with all of these trials and tribulations for the sake of obtaining citizenship here in America, or trying to obtain an education, or trying to obtain some wealth since he comes from a poor country? He had told his people that he would come here to get some education and he hasn't accomplished that yet and he wants to fulfill what he had told them he would do, inshaa'Allaah. What advice would you give him in addition to all of this?

was salaam 'alaykum,
Abu Muhammad Hasan Grooms as Salafee

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