Topic: Father or not?

Oem_Imaan    -- 22-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM
Salaamu aleyk

I would want to thank Umm Khadijah for her courage in asking such a personal question/advise about her condition, masha Allaah, it has given me the courage too to ask about some personal matters. Not only Umm Khadijah but also the many replies filled with compashion and hikmah have made my heart warm, masha Allaah may Allaah reward all of you.

I've decided to start with the easiest matter that is puzzling me.

I was conceived out of wedlock, both my parents were non-muslims, they married in the 2nd or 3rd month of pregnancy. They were divorced after a couple of years and later my 'father' got deported from the country to his homeland (Ghana) due to criminal offences. I havn't seen him since (approxamately 17 years ago), now that i have children of my own, my need to know about my own 'father' has grown and i decided to find him insha Allaah.

I asked around but nobody answered me to the question if i could go and look for him, so i did and i found him, he's still living in Ghana and i wrote him a letter, he wrote me back.

My questions are in this matter:

1. is he islamically considered to be my father
2. if yes can i visit him and his/(my) family and meet his brothers (my 'uncles')
3. i carry his name, is this correct or should i have my mothers name, or...?
4. if he is not my father (according to shari'ah), is he than still mahram or not?
5. what would his right be upon me in both cases
6. etc.

Djazaq Allaahu gheyran if anyone can help with daleel or get me to the answer insha Allaah.

Salaamu aleyk


Subhanaka 'allahumma wa bihamdika
'ash hadu 'alla 'ilaha  'illa 'anta '
astaghfiruka wa 'atubu 'ilayka

alatharee    -- 22-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM
  This is similar to a question I posed to Sheikh Fawzee al-Atharee and one that was posed t Sheikh Ubaid al-Jaabiree on Paltalk.

1. is he islamically considered to be my father?

If the child was conceived out of wedlock then the child is considered that of the mothers and takes her last name.

There are no rights of inheritence nor are there any rights of provision such as what is known here in the states as child support.  The child is Islaamically and orphan.  If one wanted to give SADAQAH to that child then that is a different matter.  As for OBLIGATIONS then there are none for the man.

Because he is not your father he cannot be a mahram for you.

Allaah knows best.  I will try to post a link to the answer of Sheikh Fawzee inshaa Allaah.

كل خير في اتباع من سلف- وكل شر في أبتداع من خلف

umm_khadijah    -- 22-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM
  Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

I have a similar question to that of sister 'Oem Imaan's'insha Allah.
Sorry if this is going to be a bit long and confusing,i hope u will understand it insha Allah.

Basically my mum got pregnant with me,and her partner left her before i was born,so i have never met him.She then got married to a man who i have known most of my life to be my father,i found out he wasnt quite a few years ago,they had a child together(my brother),they then got divorced and my mum got married again to my step-father,and they also have a child together(another brother)and they are still married.

My question is are these two men(the one i have known to be my father,and i am still in contact with him,and also my step-father)mahram for me?i was told a while ago,(by someone i thought was very knowledgable at the time) that it was ok for me to uncover in front of them
because i would never be able to marry them as they both have a child with my mum,therefore i have not been  covering in front of them.
But lately someone told me that they are not mahram for me,even if they do have children with my mum,and that i should also cover in front of my brothers.
I am very confused with all this,as i havent been provided with any daleel for what these two people have told me.I would be very grateful if someone could answer this question for me,for me to know whether these men and my brothers are mahram for me or not.
Jazak Allah hu khairan.

Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah.

umm_khadijah    -- 24-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM
  Assalamu alaykum wa rahamtullahi wa barakatuhu,

Jazak Allah hu khairan for the reply.Forgive me brother if i have not understood properly.Can i just go over what has been said,so these men (my step-father and my mums ex-husband(who im in contact with)even though they both have a child with my mum(my brothers)neither of them are mahram for me? are any of them mahram?my brothers or my step-dad and mums ex-husband?I just want to get this clear insha Allah.

Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah.

This message was edited by umm_khadijah on 9-24-02 @ 12:24 AM

Oem_Imaan    -- 24-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM
Salaamu aleyk

Djazaq Allaahu gheyran brother 'alathaaree'

Two q's stay in mind:

1. his not being mahram, does this mean because he can not be my wali (because he's kafir and not islamically my father)

or does this mean i can not visit him at all, unveil my face and shake his hand, etc.?

2. Should i have my name oficially changed or should i just change my kunya to 'bint the-name-of-my-mother'?

djazaq Allaahu wa salaamu aleyk


Subhanaka 'allahumma wa bihamdika
'ash hadu 'alla 'ilaha  'illa 'anta '
astaghfiruka wa 'atubu 'ilayka

alatharee    -- 24-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM
  I will try to ask one of the Ulamaa for clarity inshaa Allaah.  Give me a few days as it is sometimes difficult to catch up with them.  Or if one of the brothers here knows the answer then can he answer please

كل خير في اتباع من سلف- وكل شر في أبتداع من خلف

Oem_Imaan    -- 25-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM
Salaamu aleyk

Djazaq Allaahu gheyran, this is greatly appreciated.


Subhanaka 'allahumma wa bihamdika
'ash hadu 'alla 'ilaha  'illa 'anta '
astaghfiruka wa 'atubu 'ilayka

alatharee    -- 28-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM

Since the daughter of zinaa does not have any relationship with her biological father, can he marry her when she gets older?

ANSWER by Shaykh Wasee Allaah 'Abbaas, lecturer at the Ka'bah, instructor at Umm Al-Quraa University in Makkah

The daughter of zinaa has no relationship at all with her biological father, no inheritance or anything else, except with regards to marriage. If there is any chance that the woman may be his daughter, then marrying her is prohibited. Therefore it is not permissible for the fornicator to marry a woman who is or may be his biological daughter from fornication.

It has been reported that Imaam Ash-Shaafi'ee, may Allaah have Mercy on him, permitted this. However, this is a weak opinion and it is not given any consideration.


This was translated exclusively for from a handwritten answer provided by the shaykh, file no. AAWA015, dated 1423/7/20.

كل خير في اتباع من سلف- وكل شر في أبتداع من خلف

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