Our Sheikh, the Muhaddith, Muqbil ibn Haadee was asked by some of the brothers from the United States:
?There is an evil habit that has spread amongst the practicing brothers (Salafis), it is that one of them will marry a woman and after a few short days a quarrel will take place between the spouses and the news will spread [to the community] then there are some brothers who encourage him to divorce her, until the point that there is a sister who has been divorced fourteen times, and this is widespread and apparent, and there is no one there from the people of knowledge for them to return to, so what do you advise us with??
|The Sheikh answered:?I advise the brothers with what the Messenger of Allah has said: ?The believing man does not dislike the believing woman, if he is displeased with something in her, he is pleased with something else.? And what has come in the two Saheehs on the authority of Abu Hurairah on the Messenger of Allah: ?Be good to women, for indeed they were created from the rib, and indeed the rib is crooked, and the most crooked part of the rib is the upper portion, so if you try to straighten it you will break it, and if you leave it as it is it will remain crooked, so be good to women.? And also on the Prophet: ?Indeed the woman was created from the rib and she will not be straightened, so if you leave her as she is she will remain crooked, and if you try to straighten her you will break her, and breaking her is divorcing her.? And the Messenger of Allah said: ?I have not seen anyone more deficient in intellect and religon that takes away the mind of a prudent man faster than one of you (women).? So deficiency of intellect and religion is something persistant in most women.? |
And Allah says in His Noble Book: ?And live with them in kindness.? And He also says: ?Men are over the women because Allah has caused one of them to excel the other and because of what they spend to support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in their husbands absence what Allah would have them guard. As for the women on whose part you see ill-conduct, then admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them lightly but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means of annoyance. Surely Allah is Most High, Most Great.?
So if she has some bad etiquittes then be patient with her, but if she is not chaste (lewd) then divorce her, Allah says: ?The fornicating man only marries the fornicating woman or a mushrik and the fornicating woman only marries the fornicating man or a mushrik and this is forbidden from the believers.?
And she is in a land of self-indulgence, and a land of sin and evil that does not aid one upon the religion, not to mention upon good. And for Allah to guide this women by your hands is better for you than Humurun-Ni?am (the red she-camel).? [See Tufatul-Mujeeb question no. 112]
It has been collected by At-Tabaraanee in his Mu?jam Al-Kabeer, and has been authenticated by Al-Muhaddith Al-Albaanee in As-Saheehah (no.2871), on the authority of Al-Miqdaam ibn Ma?dee that the Messenger of Allah stood in front of the people and said:
|?Verily Allah commands you to be good to women [three times], for certainly they are your mothers, daughters, and aunts, and indeed a man from the people of the Book will marry a poor young woman and neither one of them will desire to leave (divorce) the other until they die of old age.?|
Imaam Al-Manaawee says in Faydul-Qadeer (2/404) in the explanation of this hadeeth:
|?What is intended is to encourage the companions to be good to women and to be patient with them.?|
Sheikh Alee Ridaa said in commentary of this hadeeth:
|?From the most precious of the Prophetic Hadeeths in commanding with being good to women, and kind to them, rather in it is the encouragement not to divorce, and to remain with them until death.?|
أهل الحديث هم أهل النبي وإن
لم يصحبوا نفسه أنفاسه صحبوا
Abul-Hasan Malik Adam Al-Akhdar