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Posted By Topic: In need of naseehah...barakAllahu feekum.

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AbdulMani'
08-02-2009 @ 8:57 AM    Notify Admin about this post
al-Cubaani Harun ibn Jose (us)
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Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2009
          
As-Salaamu Alaikum waRahmatullah

Well, here it is, in Brief...

I reverted to Islam almost 3 years ago, alhomdulillah.

I immediately began receiving trials from seemingly every direction; that's how it felt anyway. However, my eeman was very strong then, and I dealt with the situations with much ease, by the Rahma of Allah no doubt.

I settled in a Muslim community (The surrounding area is mostly catering to tableeghis, sufi, shi'a, and their likes, but mashaAllah, there are plenty of salafi brothers too...[I gained knowledge from the salafees]).

I was working part-time for this brother, who was always stressed-out, screaming, cursing, and arguing with customers, family, etc... He always seemed to be looking for something to complain about, while apparently not appreciating anything at all... 'The evil that money, or lack of, brings about in some'... a'oothu billah... May Allah guide that brother...ameen.
Eventually, I started getting wore-out on the abuse I was receiving from that brother, and I once lost my patience, and made a few indecent comments to him... astaghfirullah. Soon after, I quit working for him.

I don't know how it happened, but it was as if I had stepped into a 'dirty hole full of jahiliyyah' and lost all my humbleness and patience and good manners... (not pushing the blame off) I know it is 100% my fault...

Well, I later discovered that some rumors were spread about me, though I couldn't prove by whom, (i.e. that I hate moroccans [that brother I lost my temper with is moroccan coincidentally])... That I like to fight (yet, I have never even been in a fight my entire life (unless you count sparing in taekwondo classes)... That I have a fake beard (that was actually kinda amusing at first...one brother had the habit of giving me salaams, then tugging on my beard a few times...that theory didn't work out for them either)... and other such ridiculously unfounded accusations made its way throughout the community... And, instead of someone approaching me with direct questions, I was bombarded with presumptuous babble... nobody, that had encountered these rumors, would answer any of my questions directly. No advising, just takfeer...

mashaAllah, a few brothers (also salafi) really fought for me though... Instead of blind-following the 'celebrities', they asked me plenty of direct questions, and I gave them plenty of direct answers, and they treated me fairly...judging me on the facts, not assumptions, nor unfounded rumors...

{{{Fast-Forward to 2 months ago}}}
I moved away from that community (in which I spent the last 2 ramadaans in, gained probably 90% of my present knowledge of the deen, among other beneficial experiences).
I am far from any masjid (the closest one appears to be sufi), and I am even further from any salafi masajid. I made istikhara before coming though, so I must just accept it as the Qadr of Allah. I still practice the deen of course, though it is more trying without any Muslims around...

Regardless, it weighs heavy on me, especially since ramadaan is coming soon, inshaAllah... Those brothers don't want anything to do with me, and I have no idea why... And, all my attempts in searching for the truth, has just lead to more rumors being spread about me... So, I just gave up on getting any direct answers...

I don't know if this is just another trial to gain hasanat, or a punishment for being negligent in my acquisition of ilm.


So, I guess my questions are:
- Would it be a sin on me, if I returned to that community for ramadaan (assuming I can afford the trip), knowing that it would probably revive a fitnah...? (I think I answered this question myself, as I typed it, but I'll leave it up for reply anyway)

- If the answer to the above is yes, or if I can't afford the trip, is it ok (is it best in this particular situation) to pray taraweeh at the sufi masjid (assuming they don't start twirling and other such bid'ah, shirk, etc...allahu musta'aan).?

- If I can pray there, can I leave at 11 rakat, if they were to try and pray more? (I am thinking of the hadith which esplains we are to 'stay until the imam leaves')

- If I can't pray taraweeh at the sufi masjid, will it be accepted of me to pray it at home? (where I presently live is my sister's home, and she has statues and pictures, which she refuses to get rid of, though she agreed to do so before I came here...However, the room I sleep in, is free of haraam...)

- Any other naseehah you want to toss my way, will definitely be accepted, sincerely...

barakAllahu Feekum

As-Salaamu Alaykum waRahmatullahi waBarakatu






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